i am thoroughly amused + inspired by this video. why are the euros so damn clever?
i have a musical body now, everything cracks. the only thing i do that doesn’t crack are my eye exercises.
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| — | from the desk of lillian coscia |
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
i’ve never been one of those girls who planned out her wedding day and all that jazz. but i have always been into jewelry. and so, it’s only natural that i found a little gem that called out to me while perusing the cyber residence of harry winston. yes, it’s an engagement ring. and no i am not engaged. who effing cares. i am in love with this ring and it’s yellow diamond twin sister, which is sadly not on display on the interwebs. if i never find the man with the gleam in his eye, i will most likely sell a kidney, and my ovaries, and possibly one eyeball, so i can purchase it myself. anyway, i told nana about the ring several months ago, and then ogled it in person recently when my girliest girlfriend jennette was in town for a visit. it was all her idea. but since that jaunt, nana has been insisting i listen to the lyrics to “diamonds are a girl’s best friend” as the song mentions a pear-shaped diamond. saturday night she sang me the song so sweetly and perfectly – i had to ask her to tell me those lyrics again and see if i could recapture the moment. not exactly, but i think this is even better. listen to track 1 up above for her first attempt.
she then insisted i look on “intanet” and find out in which broadway show carol channing debuted the song. sure. i happened to be engrossed in mad men so was doing her biddings and calling her back on the commercials. i gave her the answer: it was gentlemen prefer blondes, and i had the lyrics on my screen. now check out the round 2 clip.
and then, she revealed her true talent. impersonations. uh huh. please, for the love of god, listen to track 3.
i want you to call that boy. i don’t like those emails. too much time to think of the right answer.
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| — | from the desk of lillian coscia |
one of her best.
nana: is your roommate in town?
amanda: no, she’s leaving for south dakota tomorrow to see her boyfriend. it’s like 10 degrees there.
nana: well she’ll have love to keep her warm. tell her to have a good time. and if she goes out there and she’s cold, she’s got the wrong man.
lotto.
amanda: nan, i got my mega millions tickets.
nana: good. if you win it, don’t tell anyone. get yourself a lawyer, make sure he’s a jew, and get a good tax man. then get yourself into a hotel. you might be lucky, i’ll say a special prayer to st. jude, “please let her win so she can have a big big dance company.” you can adopt the whole family!
break a leg.
“well good luck tomorrow. i’m not gonna say that famous saying because i don’t know what kinda fancy shoes you’ll be wearing.”
-from the desk of lillian coscia
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
i told nan if she wanted to say something to her blog readers, there is a way to record her voice and post it on the site. she said, “oh no my voice is too raspy.” then i clicked record. there’s a lot of feedback from my speakerphone so here’s the transcription.
amanda: well maybe you’d want to say something to your adoring fans
nana: well, but, and let me ask you a question. does it sound sexy?
amanda: does your voice sound sexy?
nana: maybe i can get my millionaire that way.
amanda: yeah you sound pretty sexy.
nana: i’ll never get him if he sees me. although your father said i looked wonderful today. i felt like saying you need new glasses but i didn’t. i took it graciously. oh god. but anyway, what else is up?
